Daughter of a Punk Chapter I

     San Francisco Airport was bustling with noise, even at nine p.m. . The noise was actually a welcome change, compared to the past six and a half hours Josie spent on a flight. Nothing is as bad for me as being alone with my own thoughts, especially right now. The girl thought to herself, walking to the part of the airport where pick-ups took place, her light pink suitcase dragging behind her. Josie felt a buzz go off in her purse. She sat down on one of the many benches and got her floral-covered phone out. Her pink screen was lit up, a text bubble popping up.

Mom >>> I’m in line. What door r u at?

Josie looked back at the door, a bright yellow neon sign shining with a thick black ‘3’. 

        Me >>> 3

Almost instantly, she received a text back. 

Mom>>> great! Give me a few. I’m rly excited to see you! <3 

Josie sighed, looking up at the dark sky that was glittering with stars. This was going to be the first time she would see her mom in person since Christmas. 

It’ll also be the first time she’s seen her since her dad passed. 

It was a confusing feeling. Weeks ago, all Josie wanted to do was hug her mom, feel her warmth and comfort her. But now, that feeling was gone and replaced with anxiety and clammy hands. What do you say to someone who has not only lost their husband but also their best friend?

    Josie heard an obnoxious honking sound, and she lowered her head. She knew that sound better than anyone; it was from her mom’s beat-up Subaru that she has had since the girl was five. She could see the silvery vehicle approach her, parking near the curb. Josie walked forward. Well, this is it.

    The doors to the front and the very back opened and out walked Josie’s mother. The woman looked extremely tired and weary, with dark eye bags under her soft hazel eyes. Josie noted the un-dyed strands of grey hair that were sticking out of her unusually sloppy signature bun. Sloppy. A word Josie thought would never suit her mother, who didn’t even get a carton of milk without putting a full face of makeup on.

“JOSIE!” The woman squealed, running towards her daughter who was standing by the curb, nearly knocking her down when she engulfed her in a hug. “Ohh, my baby! You have no idea how much I’ve missed you!” Josie looked up to her mom, who looked almost teary-eyed.

“Hi, Mom.” She said softly. It was surreal—being with her after everything that’s happened. “How are ya doing?” It was more of a courtesy, as Jose already had a pretty good idea.

Josie’s mom let her go, a sad smile forming on her lips. “I’m… I’m doing.” She reached over and grabbed Josie’s suitcase. “Let’s get outta here before we get in trouble with these officers. I hate those guys.”

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Josie’s mother opened the red door, they were instantly greeted by the trotting of a black and brown colored Australian Shepherd. Josie quickly stepped through and crouched down, smiling from ear to ear. “Oh goodness! Is that my Maxy-Waxy?”

The dog made a grunting noise, getting up into Josie’s face and licking it. “I’ve missed you so much, sweetie!” She laughed, running her hands through the dog’s soft fur.

“She’s missed you too.” Josie’s mom said, smiling at the two of them. “We both have.”

    

Josie cleared her throat, “Yeah. So… how has Max been doing since…” She couldn’t finish the sentence. Josie couldn’t bring herself to say those words about him in front of her mother.

“... Since Marcus’ passing?” Josie’s mom finished, then sighed, looking at the dog who looked back at her. “I wish I could say she’s been doing better than us. But I’ve had to spoon-feed her every day for the past three weeks. The poor thing always sits in front of the back door, waiting for him to come back.” As if knowing she was talking about her, Max went up to Josie’s mother, rubbing up against her legs like a cat would. The woman leaned down and gently stroked the dog’s head. “Well, I guess it isn’t too bad. Now she sleeps on my side at night, rather than your father’s.” She let out a nervous laugh, then paused. “Well, enough about that! Have you eaten yet? We have plenty of leftovers!”

“I already got something during my layover in Houston… But I could go for some dessert?” Josie suggested playfully, smiling.

A smile tugged on the other woman’s lips. “Great! We have plenty of that too! There’s a container full of brownies that just have your name on it!”

Josie’s mom led her to the kitchen, turning the lights on. Instantly, she was met with a waft of flowery scents so overwhelming that she let out a sneeze. “Ah-choo!”

“Sorry, you’ll grow used to it.” Josie’s mom turned on the kitchen lights, the bright yellow lights matching the obnoxious springy scents emitting from the colorful cornucopia of flowers shoved to the side of the bar.

“Who are all of these even from?” Josie asked, taking a seat on one of the wooden stools.

“Let’s see…” Josie’s mom, who was on the other side of the bar and in the kitchen proper, looked up like she was thinking. “... Grandma Ruth, your dad’s boss, my boss, St. James’ Unitarian Chruch…” A look of disgust appeared on her tired face. “... And Sweet Susie.”

Josie’s jaw dropped, and she nearly jumped in her chair. “Sweet Susie? As in dad’s high school sweetheart ‘Sweet Susie’?”

Josie’s mother nodded as she got the plates out from one of the kitchen cabinets. “Yes. Apparently, she and your father kept in contact with each other after his high school reunion years ago. She’s married now, but it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.” Josie’s mother rolled her eyes, “Rob let her know everything, and I suppose I’ll have to write her a thank you letter now. Ugh.” Josie’s mother shuffled around to the fridge, taking out a Tupperware container of brownies.

“Aw, c’mon mom. Isn’t it nice that dad left such a good impact on her?” Josie said, trying to hide how amusing she found it.

“You’re right. As always.”

Josie winked, “I always am.”

“But I still don’t like it!” Josie’s mother declared, coming around and sitting next to her daughter, setting the food down. “Well, enjoy! Take as much as you need. I can’t imagine they’ve been feeding you right at that college of yours.”

“Eh. The food’s not too bad this year.” Josie shrugged, thinking it would be best not to mention the few students and teachers who received food poisoning around a month ago. 

“Well, that’s a relief to hear. I swear, when we went to your orientation, they served me raw chicken.” Her mother shuddered at the memory. “Anyway, how were your finals? I really hope your teachers gave you accommodations considering everything.” 

Barely. “Yeah, they were all really understanding about it. It all ended up being pretty easy.” Liar, liar. Pants on fire. 

“Oh, that’s a relief! And now you’re gonna be a junior come the fall! I can’t believe my little Josie is gonna be a junior already. I remember visiting the college with you all those years ago as if it was yesterday.” Her mom chuckled, taking a brownie. 

“Haha. Yeah…” Josie grabbed one of the petite and crumbly brownies from the container and took a bite out of it. Her hazel eyes widened, her mouth experiencing both sweet and savory tastes that were basically nonexistent in ready-in-box brownie mix. “Mom, when did you find the time to make this?!”

Josie’s mother laughed, “I didn’t! Rob came by and dropped them off. He said Benji made them!” 

“Benji? Like… Benji Benji?” Benji was Josie’s old childhood friend, the son of Rob who was childhood friends with Josie’s father, Marcus. Benji was also three months older than Josie, so they practically grew up together. That was until the sixth grade when Benji’s parents got divorced, and he moved across town with his mom and started going to Catholic school. The two quickly lost touch, even after he suddenly dropped out of school during Junior year and moved back in with his dad.

    “Yeah! He works at Kimmy’s Bakery downtown now. He’s apparently taken quite a liking to it. Which reminds me, he’ll be at the memorial service tomorrow.” 

    “Oh, yeah?” Great. Another person’s pity I’ll have to deal with.

    Josie’s mom nodded, “Of course! You and Benji were just as inseparable as your father and Rob were. Pretty sure we have copies of identical photos of both of you pairs at similar ages.” There was a minute of silence as Josie eagerly ate the brownies and doused a mug of milk before her mother talked again. “So, were you able to write that poem we talked about?”

    Josie gulped her milk down slowly. This was it. The moment she had been dreading ever since she boarded her second flight. “Well,” She started out slowly “I had a few things in my head, but they all never sounded quite right…” Josie scratched the back of her head, avoiding making any eye contact with her mother. “... I really did try, but I don’t think I’m quite ready to write something like that yet. I’m really sorry, mom.” Josie knew she had disappointed her mother.

 

    Josie’s mother got up from her chair and hugged Josie, stroking her back in soothing motions. Josie looked up, her hazel eyes looking up into her mother’s. “It’s all right. I understand sweetie. I kind of expected it, so I picked out a poem a few days ago for you to read out loud. I already have a copy, I can go get it—”

    “Ah, no thanks.” Josie shifted in her chair, an uneasiness washing over her. “I’m actually feeling pretty exhausted right now. I’m gonna go to bed.” Josie lept off the wooden seat, stretching her arms and yawning. “We’ve got a tough day tomorrow. We both need to rest up.” She gently placed her hand over her mom’s shoulder. “Thanks for the brownies. Good night Mom, I love you.” She gave her mom a peck on the cheek, rolling her suitcase away and walking towards the stairs with Max following closely behind her. 

        “... Love you too, Josie.” Her mother whispered softly, watching her figure leave the older woman all alone in a kitchen that was far too cheery for the woman with a broken heart. 

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    Cr-eak. Crr-reak. The old hardwood floor creaked with each step Josie took, Max quickly following behind her.

    “Do you want to sleep with me tonight, Maxie?” Josie cooed at the dog, whose butt started to wriggle happily. Josie smiled at her, the dog she had chosen herself as a middle school graduation present. Josie’s mother was never a fan of furry animals, but when she was smaller her mom had promised her jokingly that once she entered high school, they would get a dog in hopes that the kid would forget. But Josie didn’t, and her dad didn’t forget it either.

    “I’ve got exciting news, ladies.” Her dad had proudly declared when they went out to breakfast one morning. He took out a photo of an Aussie surrounded by tiny fluff balls, “One of these is gonna be ours.” He had a wide smile, eager for the reactions of Josie and her mom.

    Josie’s eyes were sparkling. “Oh my goodness! Really, dad?” She took a look at her mom, whose eyes were wide with shock.

    “Marcus, you didn’t.” 

    Her dad nodded. “Oh, but I did. I put in the deposit a few days ago.” After that, the breakfast erupted into chaos, but Josie’s mom eventually relented.

Max suddenly came to a stop. Josie turned around, already in front of her bedroom door. “What’s wrong, Max?” Then Josie realized the door Max stopped in front of was her father’s home office. The dog was sitting in front of it, sniffing, giving the door a longing look. 

    “Aw, baby.” Josie knelt to the dog’s level, rubbing her ears. “Baby, I’m sorry. But he’s… he’s gone.” She looked up to the door. The door to her dad’s office, her dad’s room gave off an almost ominous energy in the dark. It made her shiver.

    Josie opened the door to her bedroom. Everything was as she had left it when she left for school again after New Years’, with the added sheet of dust over her bookshelves and desk. Even though it was dark, Josie felt the same feeling and thoughts since she first entered the house: it didn’t feel like home.

    “Ugh.” She groaned, instantly falling onto her bed after changing into her pajamas. “I. Am. Beat.” After a moment, Josie got up and under the covers, tucking herself in. It feels nice to be in my own bed again. Josie thought sleepily. She looked down at Max who was laying on her back, eyes closed, and smiled.

    “Good night mom, good night dad. Love you.” Josie whispered softly, closing her own eyes.

            “Everything’s ok, Josie.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

                         “It should’ve been me.”

“This will be GREAT for your writing.”

R-RING! R-RING!

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PLAYLIST

I. Are We - Green Day

II. Sleeping in Waking - Rina Sawayama